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post #15
lost and founds snsd, tiffany/sunny
Unlucky exo, kris/suho
how I like my coffee exo kai/d.o.
does running away mean we're acccepted, finally? shinee, key/onew
shut up and let me pay the rent exo, baekhyun/d.o
lik a child exo, suho/kai
Complication exo, sehun/luhan
deep down 4minute, jiyoon-centric, jiyoon/gayoon
untitled exo, chanyeol
i can write my fears and you can tame them snsd, sooyoung/yuri
words big bang, gd-centric
As They Should Be exo, Kris/Lay, Lu Han/Lay
points exo, luhan/lay
dildo affairs sehun/baekhyun
rounded edge infinite, sungjong/l
hydrogen in our veins infinite, sungjong/hoya
Got Da Beatz EXO, Chanyeol/Kyungsoo
I'll Be Yours, If You'll Be Mine (For Tonight) exo, chen/lu han
sanctuary exo
Mr and Mrs Campus dbsk/snsd, changmin/jessica
degrees of mutual fascination; exo, suho/chen
giving in luhan/exo-k
Not Good Enough exo/snsd, baekhyun/taeyeon
ballad banter fly to the sky, brian/hwanhee
First Date Disaster exo, sehun/suho
fruitful yoga exercises exo, tao/baekhyun
fall back on big bang, daesung/g-dragon
untitled exo, sehun/luhan
single bells exo/f(x), kai/krystal
howling for the moon exo, kai/suho
Arms Like Yours EXO, platonic Taoris
With the Sweetest Smile (You told me a lie) snsd, jessica/tiffany
scenes with food exo, kris/luhan
winning love by daylight reply 1997, siwon/yoonjae
fabricated exo, lu han/sehun
kites were made for two suuper junior/snsd, eunhyuk/hyoyeon
time to go exo, sehun/luhan
Surprise EXO, Kris/Chanyeol
just perfect exo, xiumin/chen
untitiled exo, kris/suho
Too Much to Handle EXO, Tao/Kris
this close exo, kris/baekhyun
can count the ways on my two hands nu'est/glam, baekho/miso
grace under pressure exo, suho/tao
something of their own exo, suho/kai

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exo, baekhyun/chanyeol

"suspension bridge theory?" ... "in a scary situation, you confuse the throb of fear with the throb of passion"

then, your heart drops (part i)

content warning: post-apocalypse fic, some sex (not terribly explicit). op, i'm really sorry if this wasn't what you were looking for. i went in all sorts of different directions with this fic u_u i know post-apocalypse fic has been done to death but it's not really about the setting so hopefully it's okay.

then, your heart drops
The second time Chanyeol meets Baekhyun is exactly eight days after everything falls apart. Baekhyun nearly splatters Chanyeol’s brains into a brick wall.

“Wait! Wait, no, I know you, I swear, I know you and I’m not going to hurt you,” Chanyeol says, words falling out of his mouth faster than his brain can come up with them. “You sing, right? Um, and - you’re friends with Jongin, right, Kim Jongin? Please don’t kill me.”

Baekhyun lowers the gun; Chanyeol can see that safety isn’t even released and feels a little dumb for being so scared, except Baekhyun is genuinely shaking with fear and he thinks that even though Baekhyun is the one with a gun he’s also the one who’s more afraid. His heart, unwillingly, melts a little.

“My name’s Chanyeol,” he says, and cautiously offers his hand. Baekhyun hesitates for just a moment before he takes it.

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun echos, and offers a tremulous smile. “My name is Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun never apologizes for threatening to kill him. Chanyeol, though, doesn’t really care, and takes Baekhyun back with him because Baekhyun is alone and Chanyeol at least has a place to go back to. He thinks, irrationally, he might be a little in love.

- - -

Chanyeol would never dirty the idea of home by using it to describe the hovel of a building that their ragtag bunch claim as a place to stay. But it’s good enough, he thinks, considering how most people are living nowadays. At the very least, they have each other, and sometimes when they joke around they can forget about how the water they drink is faintly radioactive, about the people dying about the streets, about the roaming gangs of thieves and killers, about worries of how they’re going to feed themselves the next day.

When Baekhyun joins them, they make twelve. “A dozen exactly,” Lu Han says, clapping his hands together. His eyes crease a little as he smiles, and he welcomes Baekhyun into the group. He fits right into the group, as if they had secretly been saving a spot for him.

Days pass. Chanyeol does not care to keep track of them, though he knows that Kyungsoo and Joonmyeon are keeping a running tally. “So we can look back upon them someday, when things get better,” Kyungsoo explains. Some of them openly disdain them for being so naively optimistic, but Chanyeol simply shrugs and smiles, because it doesn’t hurt anybody to do something so small like that. Still, he tries not to look at the growing number of marks if he can help it.

As time passes, he and Baekhyun become closer. They tease each other and play jokes on the rest; they touch each others’ arms other easily. Chanyeol finds, strangely, that he can still feel happy.

- - -

At night, Chanyeol dreams of how things once were. He dreams about laughing with his friends. He dreams about taking tests in school. He dreams about his band, the bad songs they wrote together, the shitty gigs they took because they were willing to do anything for a little extra cash. He dreams about the time he went on vacation with his family to the beach, about the feeling of white sand in between his toes, about the smell of salt on his skin afterwards. He dreams about the girl in class 3-B he gave his virginity to. He dreams about his room at home, about lying on his old bed, about sitting at his desk and playing the guitar instead of studying. He dreams about his parents’ faces. He dreams about the time he first meets Baekhyun (it is at a talent show, and Baekhyun sings a ballad, and he remembers it is beautiful). He dreams about laughter.

His dreams, he thinks, are what will kill him. Chanyeol loves the simple parts of life: of breathing, of touching others, of talking with his friends, of simply being alive - but he fears that someday he will start hating the life he used to have more than he loves the life he can live, and that will be the end.

then, your heart drops (part ii)

The night before Baekhyun is set to do his first solo job, he confesses to Chanyeol, “I’m not afraid of being killed. I’m afraid I’ll get lost and won’t be able to find my way back.”

There is nothing to lose, Chanyeol thinks, when the world has already ended, so he says, “I’ll always come looking for you,” and then he leans over and kisses Baekhyun. He expects the worst, but Baekhyun closes his eyes and presses back.

- - -

Baekhyun is gone for four days, but he finds his way back just fine. Chanyeol laughs with relief (if he doesn’t laugh, he thinks he’ll cry instead) when Baekhyun returns, and welcomes him back with a smile and kisses all over Baekhyun’s face, neck, body.

- - -

Paradoxically, Chanyeol finds that he worries more after he and Baekhyun start dating - or whatever it is that they’re doing, because he’s not sure this qualifies as dating. He is scared of dying not only because he still wants to live, but because he doesn’t want to leave Baekhyun behind. He is scared of Baekhyun dying not only because he is afraid of being alone, but because he thinks if Baekhyun dies he will give up on what little hope he last left. He is at once both infinitely happier and infinitely more afraid than before.

But Baekhyun has a way of coaxing out his worries, and late one night, Baekhyun admits, “I’ve thought about that too,” and they both vow that if the other dies they have to go on living no matter how much they want to give up. Then Chanyeol brushes his hands underneath Baekhyun’s shirt and Baekhyun makes an encouraging noise in the back of his throat, so Chanyeol presses Baekhyun’s back into the bed and Baekhyun lets Chanyeol touch him all over (in places, Baekhyun will later admit, that he’s never let anybody else touch before), until Baekhyun is squirming and gasping -

It is a satisfying sound, Chanyeol thinks vaguely, when Baekhyun moans and comes into his hand. Even more satisfying: the feeling as he himself comes into Baekhyun’s hand.

- - -

Baekhyun is the first to say “I love you.” It comes moments after they’ve narrowly outrun a gang of body harvesters, the first time in a long while that Chanyeol has actually been scared his end might be near - they collapse in an abandoned sidestreet, leaning against each other and laughing nervously. They talk to each other in soft, reassuring tones until they’ve both caught their breath, when suddenly, Baekhyun says it: “I love you,” he says, in a voice that twists Chanyeol’s heart, “I love you so much and I really thought we were going to die - ” Baekhyun’s voice catches “ - and for the first time since it happened I prayed, I begged to God to let me live. To give me more time with you.”

Chanyeol is breathless all over again.

then, your heart drops (part iii - end)

The building that they live in somehow becomes home, to Chanyeol. He thinks it happens the first time he walked out of the bathroom to hear Baekhyun singing.

When he hears it, he smiles so widely and laughs so loudly that Sehun frowns and asks him if he’s getting high, and hyung, you really shouldn’t because it’s a waste of money and god knows we don’t have enough of that, oh my god hyung stop laughing you really are high aren’t you, I’m going through your room and finding your weed and selling it and not giving you a single cent of it.

- - -

It occurs to Chanyeol that perhaps this isn’t real, that he isn’t really in love, and that he’s just attached himself to the first person that he thought he could be compatible with as a coping mechanism. It occurs to him as he is sitting on the edge of his bed, Baekhyun kneeling between his legs and reaching to unzip his pants.

“I remember,” says Chanyeol suddenly.

Baekhyun pauses - “Remember what?” he asks.

“In high school, in a psychology class, we learned about something called the suspension bridge theory.” Baekhyun hums to indicate he’s listening as he yanks Chanyeol’s pants down. “It’s, like... when you’re in a scary situation, you easily confuse the feeling of fear with the feeling of passion. Attraction. I don’t know. Love, I guess.”

In response, Baekhyun’s hands slide across Chanyeol’s hipbones, fingers sliding down and into the elastic of his boxers, slowly pulling them down until he’s face-to-face with Chanyeol’s dick, already half-hard. He looks up and says, “Please don’t tell me you think we’re not really in love when I’m about to suck you off.”

“Okay,” says Chanyeol, and moans as Baekhyun puts his lips to the head of Chanyeol’s cock.

- - -

Hours later, after he’s come more times than he cares to think about, lying with his body tangled in between Baekhyun and the bedsheets, Baekhyun says, “You’re wrong.”

Chanyeol pretends he is asleep, but he knows Baekhyun knows he’s listening. “You’re wrong, because I stopped being scared a long time ago,” Baekhyun says. His voice cracks just a little bit as he goes on: “I stopped being scared after you kissed me that one time. When you said you’d always come looking for me if I got lost.”

So Chanyeol holds onto Baekhyun a little harder, closes his eyes, and thinks about promises made, about dreams lost, about everything he would give up for one more night like this -

It is the first night that he doesn’t dream about the past when he falls asleep.

author's notes

also i forgot to say at the beginning! i might expand on this at a later time if that's okay with you, op. i felt like i could have done more but i was stumped on where to go so i decided to submit it like this since i didn't want to sit on it forever if it turns out i never figured out what else i wanted to put in, haha. if that's not okay with you please let me know o7

and if it's not clear, there should be breaks in between the different parts of the fic, i just realized i really should have left them in OTL

Re: author's notes

not op but i loved this anon! please continue ;_;

Re: author's notes

authornon here, i'm glad you enjoyed it! ;u;

from op with love

um, i, i am really /overjoyed/ with where this prompt took you. i am just, whoa. i really like how you interpreted the prompt ;o; so it's totally ok if you expand on this, because you get this feeling that there's something more to it. (but that's the thing, we get attached to the idea that something is incomplete when all this time, it's been sufficient). sehun's part in it is just perfect ;~; and to keep a troop of twelve ;o;

ngl when i read the first sentence (with the brief of "this is post-apocalypse"), i thought we're talking abot chanyeol's actual organs (but that's just me lmao)

the part of chanyeol dreaming about the past really hurt. i think if you expanded on it, i would be left broken ;~~;

sadfsjadf thank you so much for writing this! gj gj anon ilu you can have my heart too <3

Re: from op with love

op, i'm really glad you liked it! ;u; and yes, you nailed my feelings right on the spot about it feeling incomplete too. i think i could still do more with this, but i'm not unhappy with where it is too.

Re: author's notes

loved this, both prompt and story, gj anons!

Re: author's notes

authornon here, i'm glad you liked it! :)

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